One love.

Love.
Love is not only a word, but a certain thing I try everyday to live by. I may have never known the true meaning of this warm strong word, if it wasn't for Jesus. As silly as it may sound, Jesus was the one who showed me love when everyone else had turned their cheek to me. My parents had divorced, my family didn't believe in me, it was just me and the little peanut inside my stomach vs. the world.
Jesus forgave me. He gave me the strength to stand up against everyone that didn't believe I could. He gave me the knowledge to not only forgive those who have broken me, but to hope and pray for the best for them. He loved me when no one else was around. He listens to the sound of Eli's laughter with me and watches him as he grows.
I read in the bible the other day that..
As my memories begin to fade of the way Eli breastfeeds, and the sound of his babbling... God will never forget each precious move he has ever made.

That really touched me. Eli will always have a father. That's all I ever wanted.

 Love. To be loved. and To love.

 "I am with you always." Matthew 28:20

Help?

I don't think it's wrong that I am in total awe over any newborn I see. I want oneeee! It's just my instinct. I'm only woman. 


Anyway... I need help! (With blog technical difficulties of course)
HELP HELP HELP! Like how do I center my freaking blog header?
and how do I make my pages not be boxed off? UGH.

Well, Eli got his shots today. 

He's a little grumpy but he'll be okay! 

He stopped crying the second I gave him a lollipop.

 I hate the doctors office. ugh.

I feel like a bucket head.

Letter from Eli.

"Oh hey there.. I'm jus playin"

Just wanted to let you people know,

 I have mastered the art of crawling, and standing up with the help of furniture.

 I am officially big boss.

He's only six and a half months old! I can not believeeeeee how strong he is! 

Where has my little baby gone!?

Extraordinary

Everyday, I can't help but to feel like the luckiest girl alive to be able to call Eli mine. He is such a sweetheart. Sometimes I think he's not even human, he's an angel. He is so strong and smart, i think he deserves a Noble Prize. He's been standing since he was one month old, and today my little guy pulled himself up on the side on his crib, and stood all by himself. A few days ago, out of the blue, he started saying "mama". He's practicing his 'B's and 'D's now. "Teething? No problem. Shots? No big deal. Mom accidentally gets water in my eyes during bath time? Oh well, I don't mind!"

My sister called my the other day with some terrible news. A young mom who is my age, just gave birth to her son yesterday. He has down syndrome. I can't even begin to image her pain and frustration. Why can't everyone be so blessed to have a perfect baby? I don't understand why things like this happen to innocent people. I'm praying for her and her son and sending her all my support. I'm also praying to god and truly thanking him for this miracle baby he has sent to me.

Time for Me.

I need to do things for myself. I need to obsess a little less about Eli, and a little more on things that appeal to me. When the only thing I have to conversate about is my adorable son, thats when I knew something was wrong. Everything needs to be in moderation, including my obsession for my son. Don't get me wrong, I love this job of being "Mom". But I know now that's not all I should be.

I tried on my first pair of high heels today, and loved it.
I started reading a lovely book.
I will go for a run every morning.
I will paint my toes and stare at cute boys.
I will text old friends and gossip.



I am me. Doing things for me. It feels great.

Humble.

I've had time to reflect on some of the morals my parents attempted to set in my heart while I was growing up. My dad always told me to image the day I die,  being presented with a video of flashback clips of my whole life, then being sent to judgement. What he basically says to me is, spend every day like everyone is watching. My mom, on the other hand, always told me to never hate.
I'm not sure why these two things seem to pop out in my memory so much. Maybe it's the fact that these are the two absolute hardest things to live by.


 If you watched my every move and heard my every thought, you probably would shake your head a few times. You might think "Why is she still thinking about that?". or.. "Why does she keep waiting for something to happen, but does nothing about it?" Don't get me wrong though, my good thoughts out weigh my bad ones.

On the other hand... The lesson my mom tried to teach me didn't fully sink in. It is true, I've never hated anyone. I have, although, hated the things people have done. Hated them so bad that I couldn't eat because my stomach was empty and cold. A feelings of anger and disappointment sinking into the bottom of my tummy.
Make sense?

It's okay to mess up. It's alright to think bad things about people. We are just human.

Just trying my hardest to be humble to everything that life throws at me.

oh hey there.

A lot of pictures. Of my big boyyyy. :) Who is almost crawling!
Sorry i've been so... lazy. I sure have been enjoying nap time with Eli.

"I'm on a Boat!" ^^^

"Hey Guys, I have a tooth coming! I got it on my 6 month birthday. wooo hooo." ^^^

"VRRROOOOOMMM. Look mom!" ^

Blue Velvet cake. Cream cheesey goodness!^

Hurrry.

So I just got back from my brothers house.
We had Eli's party indoors due to rainy ickyness.
It was amazing.
annnnnd, i guess I had a good time with my brother and his girlfriend, Josey. :)
I'll blog about it later. Tonight. I promise!
I have so many pictures ahhh.

Let me relaaax. thankyou.

half way there.

Here we are.

The weekend is here!  Sorry for lack of blogging. I have so much to do this weekend. My little guy is turning a half of a year old! Oh my gosh! I want him to be surrounded by family, cool stuff to grab, and the outdoors. I hope he knows that his mama loves him, and I'm never going anywhere! I hope he knows that he can count on me. I hope he enjoys a big balloon. I hope he enjoys swimming for the first time! I'm so excited guys!
I always get mushy over him when he learns something new, or turns another month older.

Love is in the air.




PS. All these lovely pictures are taken by my lovely sister, Emily Blincoe.
She's a kick ass photographer and I'm lucky to have her.

I'll post more on his birthday! :)

Honey, I've got an idea!

So, what if I told you I was going to start a local Teen mom group?
I know what you're thinking. What can't this little mama do?! Haha. I sometimes wonder myself.
Anyway...

Here is my brilliant idea. Please, steal it if you want. I don't mind. And if you have any ideas or things to help me out, I'd sooooo appreciate you chiming in!!


I'm naming the group... "Growing Pains."

I'm going to ask my church if I host it there. 

I made super sweet flyers and I'm planning on giving them to high school councilors,

 asking them to spread the word!!

Too bad my scanner isn't freakin' working. I would sooo show you! :(

I also want to ask people/ mothers at my church to maybe donate hand-me-downs or mentor a pregnant teen or a teen mom.

I want to make super cool fact sheets and talk about topics that really made a difference in my life.

My goal is to hopefully teach some young mama something that really benefits them. Or to maybe help someone through a difficult time. 

Moms need to stick together!

wazzzzzzzzzup.

Weekend.

An explosion of pictures.
Of my amazing weekend. :)
It's practically spring!

Oh my gosh also...
I HAVE BIG NEWS!!.... scroll down please..!

My brother, Vaughan, and Eli. 

and his girlfriend (My favorite) makes amazing food. 

Austin, Texas, Kite festival. 

Eli is lifting his fat tummy off the floor and getting up on his knees. Still wobbly, but he's getting there! EEEEP! 

Jesus.

I've been trying my hardest to stay busy so my sanity doesn't crumble.
I can only keep myself  occupied with chores for so long.
My teeth are white, laundry is clean,  house is spotless, and baby is sleeping.
and yet again, I'm bored.
So I've decided today I'm going out to pick up job applications. 
:) 


I bet ya'll are tired of hearing about how LAME I am.

Single parenting.

You have to be a pretty strong individual to be able to be a single parent without going completely insane from the lack of support. You don't really get the full idea of what it's like to raise a baby by yourself unless you do it 24 hours a day, 7 days of the week. Every opportunity I see for someone else to hold Eli, I jump on it. You don't realize how great it feels to do the simplest things without having someone on your hip until you hardly ever get the chance. Every waking moment Eli is at least 15 feet from me. Every baby does tend to tie you down, but not like this.

I remember one night when Eli fell asleep in his crib. I felt comfortable enough for the first time since he was born to be free. I practically skipped outside, took a deep breath soaking in every bit of Independence. I felt like a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders and for once i had nothing to worry about but myself. Well.. that is... Until I got back inside and found Eli whining for his mama.

The absolute hardest part about being a single parent, for me, is the single part. Each new milestone Eli accomplishes, every little noise, and cute face he makes, only means the world to me. No one else. I have no one to share the "awe" of being a new parent with. It breaks my heart that Eli only has one parent to watch him grow. 

This is definitely not the way things were intended to go. It's like riding a bicycle, when in fact you need to be riding a tricycle. You need that extra back wheel just in case you start losing control.

The reason I'm not sad or miserable is simply because I know that when the time is right, I'll have a husband and a father for my kids. :)

Till' then.. This shit is hard.

Bleh.

The vibes in the house I live in haven't been so great lately. My dad and I just aren't communicating very well. I know he will probably get angry at me for talking about him on the internet. But I just don't know what to do. I want to be civil. Quite frankly, my dad is my best friend. I hope he finds a great woman quick. I'm tired of all this dang drama!

In other news... I have no life. I talk to a five month old baby all day and pretty much do nothing but chores. Maybe I'll go on a walk once a day. But that's it. It's freakin depressing. And honestly, it's hard to have fun without spending money or having any friends. blah.......

I try not to let it get to me. I usually brush it off and continue on day by day. Knowing that one day I'll wish I was bored. But as of right now I feel trapped. And kind of alone. 

Ew. I hate being negative.

Oh well :)

 P.S. Ready to go swimming with my baby.
P.S. Paternity test on the 10th.

Hey, you..

It would be so amazing if you would mention me in your next blog post??

Adalae.

My Niece was born yesterday. She's precious. :)

Yeah, I love him.

Sorry for so many pictures.

Never mind... I'm not sorry. This is my blog. :)

I often think I don't take enough.

I even ran out of room on my camera because I don't want to delete any of them!

ugh

"Say whaaaaaat? HOLLA"

Sneezing Pictures and after Bath pictures are so cute!

"Oh MOM! Don't show them the naked pictures..."

 

Play play play play.

pleaseeeeeeeee??..

 it would be so amazingly wonderful if you would feature me? or just grab my button and put it on your blog somewhereeee. I only have like  8 followers. ugh.