When I tightly wrap my hands around your bottom, and you rest your sleepy little head on my shoulder. 

When you reach for me.. 

When you look for me..

 When you cry for me..

When we suddenly get a glace of one another, and can't help but to smile..

It is then, that I see how much I mean to you, and you to me.

The smallest of things, mean the most.

I love you Eli.

To the moon and back.

 

Eli, you are just as amazing and beautiful to me as the day you were born. I admire your face every day and each day I get to spend with you is better then the last. You make me feel so alive. I love you so much pumpkin. These 10 months have gone by so fast and I can't wait to keep going. 

I'm soaking in every moment of life as your mom. It's nothing less then wonderful.

You are such a sweetheart.

Hi my loves. Sorry for my lack of updates. I'm not going to shoot you any bull crap excuses. The truth is, I just have been feeling shitty about myself. I'm working on registering for A.C.C, and I feel yucky nervous about that. I also am completely addicted to food, and feel sooo guilty about how much I eat. I defiantly am disappointed in myself. Haven't been making all that great choices. But things are changing.

Eli on the other hand is doing so well. He's 10 months old. Probably my favorite age ever! His personality is shining through and it's so adorable. He'll pick up on me being silly and play along. He claps when I ask him too, and gives me open mouth kisses when I ask for them. He loves being chased. His favorite thing is cuddling with his mama. He talks all days longg about " ba ba ba. da da da da da da. na na na. ma ma ma". He is taking more and more steps everyday. The best part about this age is he doesn't really mind going with the flow. He thinks its hilarious to scream at me. Ohhh he's precious.

I love him so so so so much.

Pictures later homie.

Uncut.

I've been wanting to wright about this for awhile. I just never knew how to start..

TO CIRCUMCISE OR TO NOT?

Let's talk about my strong opinions on penis. Eli's not circumcised penis, that is.

First of all, after I found out I was having a boy I had to figure out what was the best thing to do. For me, It was sooo obvious that I shouldn't cut 15 square inches of sexual nerves off my son's penis just because everyone else is. He was born with foreskin... so he should probably stay that way. It's there for a reason. In fact I'm going to get a little bit nerdy on you. The penis foreskin is there to protect the most sensitive part, the head. When you remove the foreskin, via circumcision, the head starts to form a callus to protect itself. (Umm? If I was a man I'd want my head to stay as sensitive as possible!! Callused head? BLAH!)
When we have sex our fore-skin releases a drug into our body that makes us feel in love. Well.. Unfortunately for circumcised men, they never get to feel that deep emotional sexual connection. Pooor poor them. Someone cut off a piece of their body. Because it's the thing to do? Bullshit. Rates are 50/50. Besides, who gives a crap. Stop following the crowd. Becuase of the risk of infection? Bullshit. My vagina is just as likely to get infected.

Get your shit straight and STOP CIRCUMCISING. It's unnecessary.
I like my penises UNCUT.
the way god made them.

I am your Mom, you are my child.

I am your quiet place, you are my wild.

I am your calm face, you are my giggle.

I am your wait, you are my wiggle.

I am your dinner, you are my chocolate cake.

I am your bedtime, you are my wide awake.

I am your lullaby, you are my peekaboo.

I am your goodnight kiss, you are my I love you.