The littlest, the easiest.

I seriously have been gifted with the sweetest baby ever. He's never grumpy, never get's over stimulated, never cries, doesn't mind a dirty diaper, loves bath time, and will fall right asleep if I nurse him! I couldn't ask for a more perfect child then little Eli. From the day he was born he has been purely perfect in every way. So, I'm definitely not looking forward to the back-arching-screaming tantrums that will come when he learns that you can't always get what you want. As each day passes and Eli learns something new about this complex world, I dream about the years that are to come. I picture him yelling from the other side of the play-ground, "Mommy look what I can do!" I dream of each new experience he will encounter and the excitement and curiosity in his eyes. It's like I get to re-live life through the eye's of an innocent soul. And I can't not wait to have many, many adventures with my little boy!

Porch.

You plump your fat little body in my lap and rest your head against my chest. I rub your toes as the blissful sun seeps into our skin. Your grandpa plays the guitar in pure harmony while I closely study each individual toe.
What a wonderful sun shinny day.

That reminds me.. Your Grandpa told me something out of the blue. He told me he wants to teach you something he never did with his own sons. He wants to teach you to play baseball when you're old enough. Isn't that sweet? He also wants you to join boy scouts like he did. It's really heart warming to see how much you mean to him.

You'll never believe how special you are to so many people.

love love love you.

Squirms and screams.

The best part about being a Mom is, you can be completely OBSESSED with your little one, and it's not creepy one bit! So go ahead, take a billion pictures, kiss them a thousand times and cuddle as much as possible. I have to admit, I'm boarder line obsessed with little Eli. I don't think I could be more in love with him then I already am. That doesn't mean sometimes I don't crave a good long selfish time to myself. I do, trust me. But I would never want to miss a second of his new innocent life.

Lately, all he does is scream at the top of his lungs over and over just to hear his own voice.
Roll over, grab toes, and bite everything!!!
and of course... kick kick kick.
He is silly.... xoxo

Sunday funday

Church is amazingggggggggggggg. If Eli wants to nurse and sleep there in a dim room with dark pink walls and...... ROCKING CHAIRS! :) and if he wants to play they have a baby nursery with lots of old ladys! They even give me a pager for if he cries. LOVE IT. When church is over I find myself more in love with Eli after a nice hour long separation. It's my getaway. I look forward to it all week. It's the only time i get dressed. Is that bad?

two days away..

Eli and myself went to spend a few days at my brothers house. It was kind of nerve racking knowing I wouldn't have ALL my stuff and maybe Eli wouldn't like it... But everything turned out just fine. It was nice to be in a new setting. I can't lie though... I'M SO GLAD TO BE HOME!!

The big reason I went over for so long was to see Mr. Raley! (My brothers, girlfriends, nephew.) I baby sat him all summer while I was pregnant to help with my diaper-funds. He's now 2 years old and it trips me out to see how big he is. When Raley coughed it was kind of 'ew'. While Eli coughs, it's kind of cute. I change Raleys diaper- and it's like i'm changing a big kid! I change Eli's- and well he's just a little guy with a cute butt.
They really enjoyed each other. Eli could not stop admiring the first other little person he's ever seen. Raley just wanted to hold Eli's hand the whole way home. And when I was tickling Raley, Eli started to laugh super hard. It was a great experience.

Raley way younger ^.

Lazy

I'm seriously soooo lazy. I want to lay down all the time. I don't ever feel like doing laundry.( It's not that hard to do!!!)
How do I change that? Maybe I could start by stop eating so many carbs. 
Today at the grocery store instead of buying JUST egos, hot pockets, milk, cinnamon toast crunch, like I ALWAYS do. I bought some fruit cups, apple sauce, lean cuisines, and 60 calorie almond milk. :) mmmmm. sounds delious!

Even though the scale says 116lb, i feel like a 160lb lazy mom.

dear everyone..

(Everyone who gave me anything)

I apologize for never actually thanking you. That doesn't take away from how much I truly appreciate each and every one of you. You have given me the opportunity to watch my son grow, and that is the most precious gift anyone could have. Instead of having to hand my little sweet baby to some day care facility while I go work a part time job at McDonald's or something, I get to enjoy and engage myself in every little moment of his early life and focus on studying. You truly are a blessing to Eli and me. You helped me in so many ways. So, Thank you for the gifts!!!!! It's more then I could've ever wished for.

nursing

You don't realize how much you LOVE breastfeeding until you read a heart wrenching blog about how sad it is to stop.
Eli is 4 months old tomorrow and I couldn't even fathom no longer breast feeding in just 2 months. I love when he pets my chest like a dog and grasps my finger the way he did the day he was born. I love watching his eyes roll back and drift into dreamland. I love holding him close and rubbing his back. Most of all, I love that he needs me.

Ugh i'm having such a hard time letting him grow.

thoughts.

I never knew it would go THIS fast.. feels just like a few weeks ago he was sleeping 24/7 and it was impossible to go anywhere without walking around with him attached at the breast. It almost seemed impossible to get anything done around the house.
Now.. You my dear are entertaining yourself. You're content with just one or two naps a day and loooove getting out of the house. You squeal and screech like no one's business. You're little fingers are still wrapped around my finger and I hope you never ever let go... I've never seen a happier baby.

xo
mom.

"oh darling don't you ever grow up..
Never grow up.. just stay this little.."

woah.

I can not believe in 2 weeks Eli will be 4 months old! To me, he's still the little guy i brought home from the hospital, just a lot smarter. I still can not take my eyes off of him. Every face and noise he makes leaves me in awe. Even when he cries, it's adorable. Today he rolled over all on his own. In just 5 more weeks he'll be crawling away from me! Time is going by so fast and he's sprouting like a wild flower. He's still just 10 pounds..
 The love I have for this little man is so intense.

Thats it, I'm having 4 more babies.