After going back and reading some of my posts, I can't help but notice how immature my writing is. I hardly ever sit down and think about what I want to say and how I should formate my sentences. I just simply blurt exactly whats in my brain. 85% of the time I have no idea what I'll blog about until I sit down and stare at the blank page.

 I hear my dad telling his girlfriend on the phone to go look up my blog. *gulp*

I should of planned better. I should of changed my grammar errors. I shouldn't of talked about... that.

this is meee!. Looks just like Eli, dontchathink?!!

I'm really bummed that I have a piece of shit camera. It makes my pictures supppper grainy for no good reason. I want to take lots of pictures of Eli in action. But the only time I get good clear pictures is when I use my dads camera. And he HATES it when i use his stuff. So I hardly take good pictures of my fast-growing-son. It makes me want to cry. The only decent pictures I get lately is from my iPhone...
I also totally regret not taking many pictures his first month of life. I guess the days just flew by. I stayed by his side 24/7 watching him sleep so peacfully.
I realize that the next couple months are truly the last months of him being a full baby. He'll start walking... and communicating.. Like big kids do. I'm soaking in my snuggle bear. Day by day. The time flew so fast.

But everyday I love him more then I did yesterday.

So i'm totally motivated to study my ass off for this exam to get into college. Because with my school grants I want to buy a Cannon Rebel. <3

Lately I've just been trying to pull my head out of the clouds.

Curse less.
Clean more.
Sit less.
Read more.
Watch Tv less.
Learn more.
Excersize more.
Cook more.

I'm trying so harrrrrd to be the person I know I can be. But it's freaking hard.


And well, I've been at my brothers house for a while. He's starting basic training for the Air force soon. So I know the opportunity to just go over Vaughans house and hang out with him like old times, any time I want.... is probably going to end soon. It's kind of sad that our whole lives we never said "I love you" or hugged. We hated each other up until I got pregnant and stopped being a selfish bitch. So now whenever I hug him, I squeeze a little bit tighter and feel a lot less awkward. Because... well he's my brother. And their is just somethings that no one will understand but him. I hope we always stay close. No matter how far the air force takes him.

This is how my life looks

Running every A.M

Teaching him to turn off the light. He loves it!

Always cleaning.

Okay, so I read somewhere that washing your hair with Baking soda and conditioning with Apple cider Vinegar is the way to go. All the chemicals in shampoo make your hair flat, frizzy, and it just doesnt stay clean very long! 

There is a detox period. 2-4 weeks.

Then my curls will be more defined, have more volume, and less frizz! 

How could I resist? my hair already looks awesome and I'm digging it!

All natural baby!!!! 

( If you want to know more, i'll explain the process fully to anyoneee!)

Destroying Barnes and Nobles.

Reading. :)

Sleeeepin in his own crib. thank the lorddddd.

 Always playing with mama. :)

This picture makes me laugh every time I see it. Eli hardly ever cries. But he sure does whine. Just look at that face! Hahahahahaha!!

Take me as I am.

The more I learn who I am, the more it becomes clear to me that everyone thinks differently. So here's my perspective on "Love". Love between man and woman.

I can be honest when I say I've never actually been in love.

But when It happens.. It will happen so naturally. All the right things will be said between the two of us. He'll make me smile with the simplest of things. I'll make him nervous and excited. Never once will I feel like I'm having to make an effort to keep things going. The word effort basically means try. And if I'm having to try to keep things together then we don't belong. If two people are truly compatible for one another, they should fit perfectly together and things will just slide into place. He will want whats best for me. I will want whats best for him. I will be the best woman I can be for him, and he'll do the same for me. I won't have to ever compose words that wouldn't already naturally slide off my tongue. I will completely be myself. Stretch marks, scars, and all. :)

And if I ever meet this man...
He will be strong enough to wait for sex till marriage.


I want this. I know it's out there. And I won't settle.


Take me as I am.

ahhh insecure..

Today I have an 8 month old!

(well... Yesterday.)

The pacifier clip is probably the best thing I've ever bought for Eli. Although it's not very attractive. 

Eli had a blast wearing different hats.

 He was really happy with us. :) haha..

I have no other excuse except to say I've been slacking. Slacking on taking pictures, and slacking on blogging. I guess it's safe to say a part of me feels like no one else cares about it as much as i do. There for I'm wasting my time. I know, i know! You all probably are going to disagree with me. My family enjoys all of Eli's pictures. But... other then family. 

I'm pretty damn LAME. although I wouldn't trade being a lame mom for anything. :) 

Okay.. now I'm just rambling...

Day three of a new lifestyle.

I've been working out, and starting to make healthier food choices.

I've been trying to bite my lip at all the negative things I hear.

I'm feeling better in general. :)

Bending over backwards to watch grandpa play Guitar.























Silly morning faces.

Cuddling mama just because. :)