There is so much I need to do and I just don't feel ready. I know that it's time to get a job and start college SOON. I also know that as soon as I start these things I am just another step closer to being completely on my own. I'm desperately holding on to my youth, not wanting to let go. It's so nice not to worry about house bills. I am, although, ready for the responsibility to be mine. I don't want to rely on anyone but myself. Growing up without anyone by my side to encourage me or guide me is the most challenging thing I've ever had to do.